Monday 23 May 2011

I can DRIVE!

I can drive. I think i can drive. I....can drive. Errr...can drive. Phew! I just can't drive safely. Every time i think of driving, i almost choke on my words. I am still left in doubt as to whether i can drive or not, seriously. My scooty is an eye sore, thanks to me, it is battered and bruised, being my driving companion for almost 10 years. The self starter seldom works, i know my mate well, she loves my energetic kick every morning. May be that gives her the kick whole day long... She is someone i can always trust, how much ever i taunt her, she is as stubborn as a mule, refusing to raise above 40 kmph. The accelerator on my right handle bar hates me as much as i hate it! And the brake- oh yes, it is the best part of her. She slows down wherever she wishes to, not where i want her to. I apply the brake 10 seconds earlier and she responds to it by ramming on the vehicle before me or that lamp post on the street side. She is just my dog, always loves to rub the lamp post!


Wait, don't write me off as a bad driver. I am the best driver when it comes to my car. I know...i know...you must be wondering how i drive my car, when i gun my scooty for 40 kmph, how fast my car would go? not more than 40 kmph again! Every time i touch the power-packed power steering, i can feel my pulse race. I can hear the heart beats thumping- mistaken, not mine, but that of the poor passengers in the car. They are compelled to remember long forgotten childhood prayers. God will be happy with me for reminding these atheists His Kindly Prayers every time i drive. Husband dear always appears calm outward, but my son...tsk..tsk...He reminisces how i clamped the brakes once and let him fly from the back seat to the front!

What made husband dear to write off my driving skills were the frequent accidents. I love to park my car right  in the boot of the car before mine! During my fledgling days driving, i had a single major doubt- " Which is the brake pedal and which is the accelerator"! Every time my trainer who doubles up as my driver yells BRAKE.........BRAKE..........i step up the accelerator. And every time he says SPEED....SPEED...i hit the clutch. Fed up with my driving skills, L has disowned me. Any more accidents and resulting loss due to negotiating with affected party and repairing the car, well, he is ajnabee! Shelling out the last 20K for a repair to the car's body, i have been forbidden from touching the car ever again. Whenever i see the car, i remember  this- NEVER EVER AGAIN.

But as you know, necessity can drive us to the extremes and i would love to drive my car again. I love the feel, the power, the pep driving a car can give you- it is just ultimate bliss. I have been missing my free (four) wheeling fun days for so long. Why should i refrain when i have the licence to drive?(Kill?) My driving fantasy might seem preposterous, but is sure on the cards. So dear God, please save all those who tread on the foot paths. My sincere prayers for all those driving in and around the city. And to that car owner whose vehicle i might hit anytime soon, my advance apologies! Never say never again!!! 


Picture Courtesy- Clipart.com and cartoonstock.com

11 comments:

  1. hehe im an absolute God awful driver too!
    n my bro let me drive once n he was like u almost murdered four people u kno :o

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rib tickling post.If real give the car and scooty a wide berth not withstanding the license given to you inadvertently!!You will make the roads safer.Lols

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey cloudnine, cheers! A MBBS who kills 100 people will be half doctor and if he kills 1000 people he will be become a expert doctor!

    Where road is there, cars will be there! Where cars are there, traffic congestion will be there! Where congestion is there, accidents are bound to happen! Come on....dont worry on scratches...20K will become 10K ....5K...2K...by the time, your will become an expert driver! Mistakes make a man complete! All the best! (If it goes to 100K you may get a new car buddy!)

    By the way, still your scooty is alive?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOls!!! I am quite bad too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1.Fun reading thru out.
    2.i think the best place for u to drive is 6 way lane May be in GeRMANY OR (UAE??), or china wher u have lanes of 100+,150 +,240 + KM/H lanes.. and no one will come near.
    3.Hiow did u forgot to mention the victims of ur driving Skills. (EG.,Ur colleague and etc etc)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ....hmmm...I wish we(womn) can drive scooty or evn CNG new Rikshaw here....

    Life would be much easier then...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Now come on Nivedita... your driving cannot be worse than mine! The last time I tried to drive a car the gear stick almost came out in my hand.. I also have a driver cum instructor who threatend to quit if he was made to teach me driving...So now it is Nataraja service or the TN road transport corporation for me...!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Sadiya- the number is only four??? No wonder your brother escapes when you drive:P

    Dear KParthasarathy- Thanks for the comment and visit. Happy you liked the post

    Dear Janaki, thats some appreciation i am getting from you! Mail me your number, i shall let my husband L talk to you...Educate him that here money never matters;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Raampyari, thanks for the comment.

    Dear Anonymous, glad you liked my post. All my poor copassengers;)

    Dear Thinking, i wish Muslim women could live more dignified. Sad that you cannot drive:(((

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Meera...hahaha;) There seems to be worse drivers than me:P Welcome to the league!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Can't drive..scared to...been teased several times....have a solid fear..hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete

Hey, just let me know your feedback:)